smoothie test

So I have been thinking about doing a cleanse.  To see how I would do I have been doing the smoothie for breakfast and lunch plus fruit through out the day.  How do people do this?!!  I am hungry and all I can think about is pasta.  ugh 

So far today I have had two smoothies and an orange.  I am trying to work through this.  I think if I can make it through a full day I will be golden.  Yesterday I made it until 6 PM then over eat for dinner :(  Try again today though 

Starting out

So I have been thinking about doing a cleanse.  To see how I would do I have been doing the smoothie for breakfast and lunch plus fruit through out the day.  How do people do this?!!  I am hungry and all I can think about is pasta.  ugh 

So far today I have had two smoothies and an orange.  I am trying to work through this.  I think if I can make it through a full day I will be golden.  Yesterday I made it until 6 PM then over eat for dinner :(  Try again today though 

Turning a New Leaf

This blog was originally set up as a private blog for myself and people who supported me through a very hard time in my life. And I am very thankful for the people who supported me during that time. Now that I am feeling better I am ready to use this blog to take control of my life back.  I plan to be honest and truthful with myself (and anyone who reads it) so that I can get back to the person I used to be.

I have been through a lot in the last year.  For those of you who do not know me or about my past here are some bullets:

• I grew up in Indiana in a junkyard.
• I have one sister and my parents have been married for 32 yrs.
• I have been living in D.C. for almost 7 yrs.
• I have been through many abusive relationships(all relationships not just intimate relationships) in the past.
• I live in an apartment in D.C. alone and love it for now.
• I used to practice Bikram yoga everyday but have lost the love for it.
• In the last year I went through a major depression in which I tried to kill myself and I had to get help.
• I gained over 50 lbs while depressed.
• While I still have bad days I feel like I am almost out of the danger zone of depression.
• I adopted a dog in the spring from Puerto Rico named Lady. (She has been essential in giving me life again)
• I acquired a second dog from someone who did not want him in August, Red, who has made Lady and I fall for his little wicked self over and over again.
• I am exceptionally hard on myself and always have been.  I have an ego.  I see how others can fail or need understanding for not being perfect however those rules do not apply to me.(or so this is what my mind tells me)

-for all of the above are the facts you need to know.

Things I love and will probably blog about a lot:

• My dogs! (pictured below)
• Cooking: I love cooking but hope to turn my love of cooking into a healthier situation.
• Fitness: while I used to love this for some reason during the depression I plan to get it back.
• Living in the city: Growing up I was a city girl stuck in the country.

So here I go....

This weekend was Thanksgiving weekend.  I had tons of time and what did I do?  I pigged out and slept the whole weekend.  I have to get control back.  I know for most people this will sound crazy but unless I keep a lot of control I tend to easily slip.  What I mean by this is if I have one burger I am likely to have fries with it, "because how can you eat a salad with a burger?  That just would not make sense!  And since I had a burger for lunch well I might as well have pizza for dinner, right?  I mean I have already start the calorie count off in a bad place so I will just do better tomorrow."  Well of course this does not work so I am taking control back.  

I first plan to be very controlled with my eating.  I am planning on doing a cleanse to help start it off.  I also plan to work out at least three times this week.  Now that could mean a 20 min run with the pups followed by a 30 min walk or it could mean 30 min on the elliptical or it could mean Bikram yoga (I doubt it though).  I also plan to say one nice thing to myself everyday and allow room for making mistakes.  

So for now this is the beginning

Below is Lady and Red!

03/16/13 - 2 AM

I adopted a dog.  Lady Gugu is now my wonderful dog.  The first two days I was not sure I could handle it and one of those days was my bad day since taking effexor.  I woke up that morning and felt as though it was worthless to live but I curled up with Lady and took a two hour nap.  When I woke up I felt better.  I just had to get used to the change.  I now love Lady so much I cannot imagine that I ever thought of getting rid of her.  She is the perfect dog for me.  She is quiet, smart, sooo sweet, loves to play, is super kind, and really adorable.  If I had adopted any other dog I would have probably had to return it immediately!  I am very luck because I did not meet Lady Gugu before I adopted her.  She flew in from a shelter in Puerto Rica last saturday.  When I saw her on the internet I just knew that she was the only dog I could have.  I really wanted to wait until after my vacation in a few weeks to adopt but I was afraid that if I waited I would not get her and I knew she was it.  Luckily I was correct!

This is Lady sleeping while I work all night.  I think she likes it because she gets my pillow when I am not in bed!    

It is going to be a long night...working until in the morning.